Four Truths and a Lie
Sometimes I wonder if my life is blessed with extra weirdness or if I just appreciate weirdness more than most people. I love how most of us are strange-pretending-to-be-normal and when we can’t keep it in any longer the strange just oozes out around the edges. Here are a few things that made me laugh last week. Your job is to figure out which one is a lie.
I met a woman who, after less than five minutes of getting-to-know-you talk, showed me a photograph of her C-section (skin cut through and peeled back but uterus not yet cut) from 25 years ago. I mean, I am totally the right audience for a picture like that, but she didn’t know a thing about my past as a doula.
My new chiropractor (who is just my chiropractor, we’ve never seen each other outside the office) delivered a block of ten year old cheddar cheese to my front door at 6:30 at night just to be nice.
A friend was told by his (medical) doctor that he is anemic and needs more horse meat in his diet. He is supposed to stop eating chicken and start eating horse. Yes, horse.
At Trader Joe’s I saw a display of advent calendars for dogs and cats. I know most people think that’s cute but I don’t, I think it’s stupid. The ones for dogs were almost gone and I thought I bet people are going to get all bent out of shape when they run out of dog advent calendars. I was back in the store a week later and the woman in line next to me said to the checker in an accusatory tone “I see you have advent calendars for cats but not for dogs, why is that?” I know, I know, my powers of prophecy are formidable (or I just know how people act).
I burned my cheek with my curling iron because, well, I’m me. It feels like I’m walking around with a sign that says ‘Ask me about how uncoordinated I am.’ Felix and Robert think I look better with a burn on my face. Robert actually said he hopes I end up with a scar because it’s that much better than my normal, unburned face.
I’ll put the answer in the comments.
So the lie is that there is no lie. All of those things happened exactly the way I said. Go figure.
I hope the lie one is the one about Robert wishing you always had a scar, though I’m sure I was supposed to read that in a jokingly way. So, I’m going to say the chiropractor and cheese is the lie 🤷♀️
Unfortunately for Robert it looks like the burn mark will be gone in a couple of days. 😂
Ha!! I read to the last part where I was reminded there was a lie and thought, “these are all true. She’s lying.” Though if one of them had to be a lie I would have gone with horse meat. Hope you survive Thanksgiving week!
You know me too well. 😉
In my defense, it was a really cool looking burn mark. Just sub “curling” for “branding” and she could have a great western-themed story to go with the scar.
It’s a good thing I love you, you weirdo.
I didn’t doubt for a moment they were all true. These are great weird things, which I’d expect your amazing “weird-o-meter” to pick up on. And the way too many creepy weird things which surround us have long ago lost any interest. They’re just sad, and icky-creepy, now.
We need to be on the lookout for the silly-weird. It’s an antidote to the icky-weird.
Oh darn, I was just about to hang up our doggy advent calendar and go out and shoot a horse! Now I feel so stupid!
Let that freak flag fly Lyn!
Fun post! I love the details of each story that make them all seem highly plausible, but I can’t believe Robert would hope you would have a scar.
Believe it. He’s so strange.